Funk Fighter Kit

What happened this week was tough to swallow. (Pun intended or whatever).

Monday I woke up with a sore throat… I played it off all day because I take deep pride in never getting sick. By the evening I had bad fever, chills, swollen throat, ALL THE SYMPTOMS. I was miserable so I ran to the store and got some Tylenol. (siiiiiiiike)

I’m kidding though… I did not take the fever reducers.

I’m not sure why I would want to reduce my fever when being hot is the only thing that keeps me feeling good… I wrapped up in 4 layers of sheets on top of my sweat pants and hoody to create a personal sauna. My goal may seem completely against the rules… it was to get as hot as possible and wake up in a pile of sweat. And so i did it. And it worked.

I’m not telling you this because I’m trying to sound like a badass and like it’s cool to fight fevers. But I have this strange feeling our bodies are supposed to get hot (and stay hot) until we are better? But I’m probably wrong and I risked my life (thank God I survived).

I spit out a bunch of green stuff, my voice is still scratchy, and I had to miss a few workouts… but with the forces of the funk fighter kit I survived the great funk of 2019.

WHAT CAUSED THIS GREAT FUNK?

In my quackery land of a mind I believe the funk began when I woke up with a stuffy nose after eating pizza two weeks ago… I was on a budget so we didn’t have our normal “diet” or “list of foods”… also, It was a stressful week… the icing on the cake was probably some of the food and drinks we had at the rodeo… then all of a sudden BOOM the funk.

At first sign of “the funk” I take the components in the funk fighter kit at much higher than recommended dosages.

I also remove all foods that will contribute to the funk soul meeting his bother … once the funk soul meets his brother you have THE ROCKAFELLER SKANK! Nobody wants that.

Those foods instantly removed when a stuffy nose or itchy throat occur are:

ALL MEATS (even grass fed etc)

ALL EGGS (they feed the funk)

ALL DAIRY (this is the funks BFFL)

NUTS & SEEDS (they just don’t help).

ALL GRAINS (yeah… it’s a day or two just reeeelax)

COOKING OILS, SUGARS, ETC…

^by removing all items that may feed the funk I can allow my body to heal! By throwing antibiotics and Tylenol in my stomach I’m not healing I’m causing future issues and prolonging the toxic relationship with the funk.

So do I just starve myself?

No, I’m not fasting… although that could be a way to heal…

EAT FRUIT, FRESH SQUEEZED ORGANIC JUICES, and VEGETABLES….

HERRBBBBBBs USE THE HERBBBSSS!

Spices!!! Use the spices!!!!

JALAPEÑOS! HABANEROS! GARLIC! ONIONS!! – eat spicy things to keep the funk COMING OUT when the funk ferments inside you GET EXTRA FUNKY. DONT GET EXTRA FUNKY.

WARNING:

Disturbing evidence of the funk…. for those who need clinical evidence of everything

#noshamegetoverit

Guess what? The tools in this kit cost an approx $200… maybe a little more…. but guess what else?

I save $$$ by not going to the doctor.

I save $$$ by not missing work.

I save $$$ by not destroying my gut and system so this is the first time I have to confess publicly about getting down with the sickness.

Also… these herbs and vitamins can be used sparingly throughout the year since most of them are FOOD.

THEY LAST A LONG TIME.

I GIVE THEM TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHEN THEY HAVE THE FUNK so they can make fun of me and say I’m an idiot.

But whatever. It’s all “mental”. None of this even works…. food doesn’t even matter. Drugs aren’t bad and food can’t make you sick.

Good luck out there. 🤙🏼

Oh….. the kit:

usually I’ll have colloidal silver on hand also… but I ran out and I didn’t need it.

l-glutamine

Lysine tablets

Echinacea drops

Oregano oil drops

Elderberry drops

Zinc-capsules or drops or both

Zeal immunity support

Vitamin D and K

OLIVE LEAF EXTRACT

Comprehensive immune support mushrooms

—–

I take a normal serving of D and K and ZINC.

All others I take 2-3x as must as “directed” 2-3+ times per day until the funk is gone.

Then… I save remains for days when I don’t eat as clean or if I happen to get a sniffle….

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